Tuesday, March 29, 2011

"But God".......


Recently I have been saying "But God" an awful lot.  I have been questioning God because I have been having issues and I have been trying to do things my way instead of the way God wants me to do them.   As I blogged about the Love Jones movie and thinking back to my discussion with my friend, I realized that at times I am a mess!! lol...I said it and I know its is true.  Does that make me a bad person?  Nope I don't think so, I think it puts me in a position to humble myself before God and say..."okay I'll do things your way"  I don't think we realize how much time we waste trying to do things the way we want to do.  Once we try to get on the same page as God we realize we are back at the starting point...but because we wanted to rush the process we missed a few steps, a few lessons we were supposed to learn on the way, people we were supposed to bless or be blessed by.....thats why we have those moments in life that feel like dejvu...

I realize I had to not focus on what I don't have, but what I do have.  Learning to accept things the way they are and not the way I want them to be has also been a struggle or challenge for me...trying not to let the past destroy my future.......but that is another blog moment...one day I will share... :-)

So as I go on my journey I am reminded that I have to be patient...that if God has something for me, its mine...and if it takes me 2 months or 2 years to get there it will still be there waiting on me......

Love Jones...Team Nina or Team Darius...


This is my favorite movie of all times.  I had the pleasure of watching it this weekend, as always when I watch this with other people I like to ask the question who was at fault.  Of course I received the response that Nia Longs character "Nina" was at fault...of course I said Lorenze Tates character "Darius" was at fault.  Here are our arguments....He felt Nina was at fault because she left town to be with the ex and then she came back and was kicking it with his friend.  None of this would have happened if she would never had left.  I said Darius was at fault because he didnt have to act all macho when she told him she was going and he didnt have to go get someone else....We still had questions that the movie didnt reveal.....How long was Nina gone?  Did she sleep with Wood?  Did he really break it off with Lisa?  Would the answers to our questions change our response...IDK...lol

Really and truly I feel they both were at fault.  They entered into a relationship and they had no idea what they wanted. They both said "they were kicking it" because that made them and the people around them comfortable with what they were doing.  Darius didnt want to seem "sprung" or "weak" in his boys eyes.  Nina wanted to seem in control and making sure she didnt make the "same mistake twice"  falling in love "its played out like the eight track"...lol... Nina was between job, didnt have a permenant address, just broken up with her fiance...she was a mess.  But I'm still Team Nina...lol

Conclusion:
We can want something but God is not going to bring it to us if we are in a mess.   If we are not ready to receive that great man or woman, God will send them to someone that is...that doesn't mean he has given up on us, he just knows we need some time and he is not going to allow us to waste someone elses time. We have to focus on him, and doing his work.  We have to be focused on things or ways to better ourselves and our situations.  Only then will we be able to receive the man/woman that God has for us. 

Monday, March 28, 2011

Day 41....

Today is day 41....still trying to find my routine....right now I only spend about 10 minutes in the bathroom prepping...lol  (that word is showing my age).  I dont wear make up so brush my teeth and slap on some lip gloss and I am out the door...I haven't washed my hair since Friday....I have just been wetting it in the shower and putting Curls Curl Quencher and Curls Milkshake.  So far I am liking my results.   My hair feels soft and fluffy!!!


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

...Hair Thoughts...

I have received so many questions about my hair journey that I wanted to share.  When I first decided to go natural, I would play around trying to image what my hair would look like, but nothing really prepares you.  When I first BC (Big Chopped)...I was very excited when I got out the chair I looked in the mirror and was thought I looked pretty good.  Then my baby girl woke up and took one look at me and put her hands over her mouth and ran out the salon door(very dramatic).  She started to cry and keep saying that she didnt like it.  The confidence I had just had in the salon was gone, fear crept up and I started asking myself "what have I done", I should have waited a few more months...I had my girls on the phone encouraging me but on the inside I just didnt know anymore.  I acutally had a good cry that night.  Then I went to Fro Fashion Weekend and was embraced by my natural sistas and got my confidence back. 

Why did you cry?

 I cried because I wasn't so confident in my decision anymore, I looked in the mirrow and felt all of my features were maganified now.  My lips,  my nose, and my forehead are there for the world to see now.  I felt my hair help to cover them up.

How long did you transition?

 I was a 6 month transitioner.  I kept saying I was going to wait to cut my hair just because I didnt want that TWA.  But here I sit today with a TWA and loving it.  But I must rewind a little bit.  After my daughter's response I was thinking "I cant do this".  How is everyone going to react when they see me.  Then there is my dad.  I go over his house every Sunday for dinner, but I missed two Sundays, because I was afraid of his reaction.  My dad and I are alike at times...we are very blount with things we say...not sugar coating anything...Im not like that all the time, but sometimes you cant tiptoe around some things...but anyway...after two weeks I went to see him...and of course he didnt like it, and that was all he said, he didnt go into why, he just didnt like it.  But lately he has said "Looking good"...man of few words.

What were your transition styles?

My transition style were flat twist out, rods and I wore a sew in once....check out a few pictures...

rod set

sew in

flat twist
If you could go back to February 17th, would you BC?

If i could go back would I do it all over again...  I honestly can't say.  Depends on what day you ask me.  Being natural is an up and down thing.  Sometimes when I am having a bad hair day...I feel like I should have waited a few more months to BC, and other days I am feeling I'm so glad I did it.  So i suggest if you are waffling to wait until you are absolutely ready for this experience.

What bothers you most about people's reactions to your decision?

It used to bother me, when associates would walk up to me and be like "Wow your forehead is big" or Why did you cut your hair (with a frown on their face)....im like "Really?" people just dont know what to say.  They think that "Freedom of Speech" means you can say whatever DUMB thing that comes to your mind.  I mean if you dont like it fine, dont go natural, but I like it and that is all that matters....keep your comments to yourself.  

People either like natural hair or hate it.....

Still no wash...

So today is day 3 and I have not co-wash my hair.  My routine has been Kinky Curly Knot Today and Curls Milkshake.  My curls feel lighter and look shiny...maybe my problem was too much washing.  My hair probably doesnt like that.  I was looking at other naturals and based  my wash everyday routine on what was working for them.  So on yesterday the CEO commented on how my hair had grew. I was shocked that she noticed and even more shocked that I didnt.  I guess I see this hair everyday and so it still looked the same to me.  I took out my first picture and realized it had.  Not a huge lot of course but at least 1 inch.  I am also learning that my hair is longer in the top than on the side...I am scared to see what this is going to look like...lol



Growing out just a little

3 day curls

 People keep asking me what I am planning on doing to my hair once it grows out.  Honestly I dont know...I will let you know when I get to that point...Really for me its going to depend on what my curl pattern is, or will it stay once it grows out.  Speaking of Curl Pattern...I still dont know exactly what mine is.  When I went to Fro Fashion Week, I actually thought they would be able to look at my hair and tell me what it was...mind you I had just big chopped the day before so my hair was to my scalp...lol  Here is an comparison picture...let me know what you think.


day 1






day 37


Monday, March 21, 2011

...On the road to becoming a Product Junkie........

Am I becoming a Product Junkie?  This is the question I asked myself as I went and purchased another product the other day.  I have been in denial, for a few weeks now....saying "Im not a Product Junkie" as I keep making purchasing...lol  That is the first sign you are a PJ...Here is what 1/2 of my bathroom counter looks like now...


Of course all the natural blogs tell you don't become a PJ, but how can you not when you don't know how a product is going to work unless you try it?  Now that is my official statement and I am sticking to it...lol.  Yes I am a PJ and I am proud of it.  I keep searching sites to see what I can try next.   I am buying trail sizes of products because I dont want to spend too much on something that doesn't work.  Case in point.  I bought Carols Daughter Hair Milk lite....Hated it!!! (in my living color voice)...it left my soft hair hard...but it smelled good.  I also got a sample of Hair Balm while shopping and....I Loved it!!! with 2 snaps and a circle...lol...it also smelled really good.  Now the Hair Balm added the gloss I was looking for but I didnt want to pay...so I want to see what my Coconut/Olive Oil mix does before I buy it. 

I still want to get my hands on Miss Jessie products but I dont want to spend the money...I have some friends that are using her products, but they are being stingy and dont want to share... ;-(....poor baby right!! NOT!!! if that was me and I paid $58.00 for a product I wouldn't be giving none out either...I might actually charge alit bit...WHAT??? Dont judge me...I spent $58.00..honey that is a pair of jeans at Express on Sale...lol....

...Finding my way...day 34



Day 34

I am still finding my way with my hair routine.  Yesterday was not a "good" hair day.  I put about 3 different products on my hair.. Curls Milkshake, Hair Milk by Carols Daughter and Design Essentials...I bet you are saying WOW!!! Why did you do that....IDK...lol... I was just frustrated for some reason and took it out on my hair....I had someone tell me, they love my hair.that it looks like I am embracing it now.  I didnt agree at all, I just didnt like I thought it should.   The picture you see is day two of yesterday's routine.  So it looks a little better....

Instead of co-washing today I just wet my hair and put on some Curls Moisturizer and Curls Milkshake and walked out the door and decided to let my hair do what it do...lol  right now my routine is Deep Condition with Jessicurls once a week,  Kinky Curly Shampoo once a week, (or twice if my hair feels to heavy) ...co-wash with Herbal Essence Hello Hydration (makes my hair fluffy) or Totally Twisted Conditioner (makes my curls pop very twisted), when I put the conditioner on I use my trusty(is that how you spell that) pick to detangle my hair in the shower....so far I like the products I am using.  I can tell my hair is growing.. :-) I am on the search for a product to make my hair shine or not look so dry.  I am on the search for Coconut Oil, today because I want to try a new recipe. So I will give the results soon. 

Cake...oh so bad!!!





So when you look at these two cakes you think awww soo pretty....or I can't wait to eat...right?  Well that was what I was thinking.   I was invited to a wedding and so I prepared myself....I LOVE cake...sometimes I think I am dating cake(seeing that I am single...lol).  To prepare myself, I didnt eat any sweets so that would allow me to eat as much cake as I like.  Well let me tell you about this cake...it was BAD! but not in a good way.  The cake was so spongy like, so cornbread tasting that I actually got mad! lol.  I was like I went without cake all week, so the build up was there and then I was let down.  If I knew the baker I would go up to him and "slap" him for making such a horrible cake...lol  I have uploaded a few pictures of some good cake...




Edgars cake

Birthday cake from Publix....this cake was sooooo good!

not sure where this came from but it was sooo good...

Monday, March 14, 2011

I got the POWER!!!...

As I was getting ready to do my hair this morning, right as I pulled my new trusty "Pick" out I heard the song "I Got the POWER!" lol...I was picking my hair and dancing in the mirror.  I was too cruck!! lol.  This will be my morning Song....So what is your hair song.....

Pick of the Day....day 26

So I spoke to a Natural Diva to find out why by the end of the day my hair feel a little crunchy.  She asked me how I put my styler on in the morning, and that is where she told me my problem was.  I need a pick...i said a pick, are you talking about the one with the fist and she said yes, the pick will help distribute what every you are putting on your hair all the way down to the root......but I was like...I am not picking my hair out with no pick...I dont have a afo......wait...yes I do...lol  So I set out on my journey to find my pick...I went to Walmart and had no luck so I tried the local beauty supply. So I went to the store to buy my pick..I felt like I should ask my dad to go buy this, because I guess I associated the pick being a man's hair tool..so I was very uncomfortable...I wore my shades so no one could recognize me;...WHAT!!! dont judge me...its only day 26..... lol


On the way to the store to pick me up a Afro Pick...



Look at that fist....


After purchasing my pick I went back home, so I can try it out...I co-washed my hair and then I put on my Curl Quencher and pulled out my pick....lol.....after applying the Curl Milkshake...I picked out my fro again..and tihs is one day I had to sit on my hands not to touch my hair.   By the end of the day my hair still felt soft and looked shiny...So guess what I give the Afo Pick a A+...lol






Friday, March 11, 2011

Hair Frustration......

So I am finding that having Natural Hair is going to be a bit of a challenge for me.  Right now I am frustrated with knowing what to put on my hair.  There are so many products out there I dont know what to use.  I have been using Kinky Curly Shampoo and Knot Today Leave in Conditioner and Co Wash with Herbal Essences Totally Twisted....those products are working great I think trying to find a moisturizer is what my problem is...my hair at times is looking quite dull.  I cant use anything heavy because it wears my curls down...I get annoyed when people try to tell me what to use..and I am looking at their hair and it doesnt look no better than mine...  They tell me what is working for their hair...which doesn't neccessary mean its going to work on my hair.  I also get annoyed with people that say "Can I touch your hair" NO!!!! When I had permed hair no one asked me that, they usually say "your hair is pretty, who does it?"...So why do people do that....then when i say NO they think I am trying to be funny...but im like I dont know where your hands been....lol.... So I bought a trail size of "Hair Milk Lite" by Carol's Daughter and I am going to see if this works...

Sunday, March 6, 2011

Mistaken Identity....Day 14



So today I went to the bank and as I sent my  deposit up the clerk said "Anything else today SIR"...WTH??? I was like "Excuse me"...the clerk was embarrased at this point and he was like im so sorry mam...but the damaged was already done.  I know he probably didnt mean any harm...but my feeling was hurt.  I am still dealing with my new look.   I feel like everything about me is exposed now...  My gigantic forehead, my lips, and my nose are things that were hidden by my hairstyles and now BAM!!! its all in your face.   Now I am ready for my hair to grow back just a few more inches so I can start doing something with it..

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Elite Eight, Narrative Expression, Lambda Tau Upsilon...all in one weekend...

This weekend was so much fun!!! Where do I begin....

Friday: Elite Eight:  A few ladies and myself call ourselves the Elite Eight.  We are Eight good friends of all ages that get together quartely to do something fun.  This weekend we had a sleepover...and I was the host... The night started out with dinner at Landrys Seafood.   Of course I forgot to study the meun (I will touch on that later) so it took me a while to make a decision. I orderd Shrimp Alfredo and it was soooo good!!!


My meal: Shrimp Pasta Alfredo...yummy..


Next we met up at the Residence Inn for the sleepover.  We started off playing a game of Scattagories...at first everyone was like..uugghhh this is like work...but when you start to read the answers off it was hilarious...next was gift time...oh yeah, I forgot everytime we do get together we have to birng a gift and its related to a theme.  We decided to exchange pajamas!!! I received some pink and purple pajamas.  Everyone was happy with their gift and we all changed into them.  I gave everyone a gift for coming...they receieved socks and a piece of jewelry.  See the pictures below...the one lonely sock in the middle of our feet is for the missing friend that didnt make it...so you know we had to represent for her....lol.  Sometimes we get to be adults and forget how to just chill out and have fun...staying up late and talking about men, kids, sex, being in love, falling out of love...of course the first person that fell asleep was me...but you know I wasn't having that toothpaste on the face deal...lol


the ladies......missing Gloria...her sock is represented on the right...its the limp blue one...lol

lol...so we put Gloria's sock in the middle so she would be seen...lol

Donita working hard on her answers...lol


Saturday: Narrative Expression:  I am apart of the bookclub Narrative Expression.  We met on Saturday night and the author of the book "Ray of Hope" Vanessa Griggs attended.  It was such a wonderful experience.  To talk to her and ask her questions about writing and how she thinks up her characters and book tours...etc.  Of course bookclub would not be complete if we didnt get our grub on...we meet every 4th Saturday of the month...anybody who lilkes to read and if you are interested please contact me...



Some bookclub members with Vanessa Griggs...

discussing the book...



Sunday: Lambda Tau Upsilon:  I am apart of the Christian Sorority: Lambda Tau Upsilon.  We had community service on Sunday working with Elderly Men and Women...it was so much fun.  We ate of course and played games with them.  The game Bingo was a big hit...of course old people are so funny to me..we repeated some of the numbers and one of the ladies was like " you called that one already, why yall keep calling the same number"  then one lady said "they can't help what number the spinner land on"  I thought it was about to be a catfight up in there...lol  Anyway I took my daughter with me and it touched my heart the way she was helping the older people play connect four.  She had so much patience...I hope when I am at that age she will do the same with me... :-)


Nicole and one of the residents

some of the members of sorority...

Nicole and Ingrid.....we girls for life...


This was one fun filled weekend and I would do it all over again if I had the chance.