Do you ever find yourself saying "Why God"? I have been asking God, why for a few weeks... Why do I always have to be the bigger person? Why do I have to be the one the make the first move? Do you see what they did, why do I have to forgive them.....etc...and do you know what I heard God say....he said "Because I said so"....WOW! don't that just make you mad!!! lol When things happen in the past I would be the first to "pop" off, ready to get someone told...but I can tell how much I have matured because I go to God for guidance in these matters. But sometimes on this journey, I get tired, tired of people taking my kindness for weakness....I am dealing with a sitution right now...and my actions are going to affect someone and I am torn, asking God for guidance....he reminded me that its all about choices. This person made the choice to not do what they are supposed to do and so it clear in there reactions that they don't care to do the right thing. But I know that when the chips fall I will be looked at as the bad guy. I know I need to just pray now more than ever because "right choice" / "bad choice" I still have to deal with the consequences of my actions.
I stand on the scripture Proverbs 3;5 that talks about trusting in the Lord and not trying to understand the stitution, just adknowlege God and he gonna direct me down the right path. That is hard to do sometime...But I have learned that its not the person that we are in combat with its that "spirt" on the inside of them. You have to have a good relationship with God to recognize, when you are being used by the devil....he is directing your actions. You know when you cuss somebody out, or say something that you normally wouldnt say and then you feel bad...that is you allowing the devil to use you. You ask yourself why did I do that...for one spilt second you gave in. The word says "To be slow to speak and quick to listen"...this gives you time to take it in and decide how you want to respond...hopefully it make you respond in a way pleasing to God.
I have also learned to go to my sister or brother to find out if I have offended them and try to make it right. So many people get mad or offended by something and instead of addressing it, they just allow themselves to drift apart from someone they care about just because there was a conflict or misunderstanding...I have a friend, we got in an argument and I was mad at her and she was mad at me both for various reasons..and we apologized but we didnt have that instant friendship back...it took time but we are back really good friends again...but there was a time, when I was like "Whatever", she was wrong, and I did this because of what she did...and it went on and on...I asked God Why and he told me to look in the mirror...own up to what you did and make amends with your friend. I am so glad I did and I think this has made our bond stronger because of the situation that occured.
Dont get me wrong if I go to them and they dont accept then I feel our season has ended that it is time to part ways...I will never beg or plead with someone to stay in my life. Everyone is not meant to be in your life forever. There is something in your encounter that you are supposed to teach them or something they are supposed to teach you...I always reflect on relationships with friends and see what was the lesson to be learned...looking to see how it will make me a better person...